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Friendship

by Fethullah Gülen on . Posted in As a Teacher

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1. Those who hold their friends in good esteem and treat them with respect gain many defenders and supporters against their enemies.

2. Having faithful friends is just as important as satisfying the vital necessities of life. Being among a secure and peaceful circle of friends means finding safety against many hazards and dangers.

3. Wise people, upon seeing that a friendship has become damaged, immediately remove the cause of discontent and restore good relations. Even wiser are those who strive to avoid or prevent disagreement with their friends in the first place.

4. Love and good relations between friends continue as long as they understand each other, practice self-denial, and make sacrifices within permissible limits. Friendship between those who cannot renounce their interests and preferences for the sake of their friends cannot endure.

5. We are loyal and faithful to our friends to the extent we share their troubles as well as their joys. If we cannot weep when our friends weep and rejoice when they rejoice, we cannot be regarded as faithful friends.

6. Those who maintain a friendship with one who has fallen on hard times are true, loyal friends. Those who do not support their friends during their misfortune have nothing to do with friendship.

7. Those who tend to disagree and struggle with their friends have few friends. Those who want to have faithful and numerous friends should not disagree with them on trivial matters.

8. Friendship pertains to one's heart and its sincerity. Those who think they can gain another's friendship through deception and hypocrisy only deceive themselves. Even if some simple-minded people are taken in by their hypocrisy and flattery, they will not be able to sustain a long-lasting friendship. [Criteria or Lights of the Way, vol.1, 9th edition, Izmir, 1996, pp.94–7]